Someone posted a question on Linkedin. He asked, should youth football be competitive? I found the responses interesting and wrote my own blog on the subject. Basically, wrapped up shortly my view is that I actually think all sport should be competitive. Kids are instinctively competitive. I also can’t stand the non competitive sports day. I am in favor of the kids learning how to win and how to lose. But and this is a big but. Not to the detriment of development. I described examples of teams I knew in mini soccer that had ‘ways to win’ but blasting the ball up the pitch to the quickest biggest player does nothing for kids development. So I asked the question. Do you have the strength of character as a coach to put development first?
I posted it on Linkdin and one of the responses I got was this...
Never heard such rubbish Tony! Where else can they learn about being competitive and working as a team player? That winning feeling, that losing feeling and the highs and lows you get during a match! And seeing your dad being told off by the ref! If someone loses 15-0 then they are rubbish! Deal with it and get stronger or get a new manager!
Initially I chuckled and just shook my head. See the person hadn’t even read my article properly. But overnight I have thought about it and feel more passionate about the reply. To me it completely sums up what’s wrong in every way and this is the exact reason I had to stop coaching at grass roots level. Because I used to come across this all too often and get so frustrated it would make my blood boil. It also shows how much more work we and the FA have to do.
I posted my link to provoke a discussion, in fact it wasn’t even my question. I had reacted to someone else posting the question. But the first four words of the reply show an almost ‘angered’ response. So, when challenged in that way I only no one way to respond and it certainly isn’t to roll over to get my belly tickled. Therefore I want to strip this down and hopefully use it as even more leverage for support so that we can get what we all want. Little people enjoying playing competitive, fair football in a sporting atmosphere where they are given the freedom to express themselves, want to get on the ball, make mistakes without fear and most of all DEVELOP so we can improve our overall standard of technical player so that one day, we can win the one game we all want to win. The World Cup Final.
“Never heard such rubbish” That statement to me is like someone poking in me in the eye in street. I have a view and I believe it is shared by the vast majority of people in youth football both at pro and grass roots level. Thankfully another reply showed that there are decent clubs out there with decent views and standards. So my view is that I want kids to develop, be better players, enjoy their football and ultimately improve the capability of our national game. If that’s rubbish, I’m giving up!
“Where else can they learn about being competitive and working as a team player that winning feeling, that losing feeling and the highs and lows you get during a match”? My older son is just like me. He was born competitive. My wife hates playing board games with us two because we both want to win and absolutely hate losing. She even says to me, why can’t you let him win? Never! I never let him win. Because then, when he does (which sadly he does do now), he knows he has earned that win. Loosing is also part of the learning. The biggest thing being how to conduct yourself in defeat. I have insisted always that whatever happens on a football pitch, you shake your opponents hand and you thank the referee. Win, lose or draw. When I was young I used to box. I loved boxing. In one bout my opponent head butted me, my nose burst open and the ref stopped it due to blood. I was livid. I hated loosing and to loose in this way was unacceptable. I ranted at the referee. He said it was an accident by I was not convinced and through a paddy. I refused to touch gloves with my opponent and stormed out of the ring. My dad took me home and never said a word. Until, it was training day. Oh, he said. You’re not going. Why? Because boxing is a great gladiator sport and you respect your opponent. Regardless of what happens in the ring you respect your opponent. If you also play your football like that I will stop you doing that as well because you can’t go through any walk of life like that. I never boxed again for 3 x months and eventually gave it up to concentrate on football.
This was one of my most important lessons I learned and from that moment forward, regardless what happened on the field of play I shook my opponent’s hands and thanked the referee.
So winning and losing teaches us those life skills. But importantly ‘how’ to lose is vital. But do we need to teach ‘wanting’ to win? I only ever needed reeling in. Because it’s instinctive. It’s either in you or it isn’t. My other son has been blessed by God with the opposite mentality. It’s lovely, he is like his mum. Yes he wants to win, but if he doesn’t he shrugs his shoulders and goes. “oh well”. I know that mentality that would not give him the drive, dedication and determination to make it as a professional sportsman. But, who cares? He still plays football, he tries his best and he enjoys it. The three of us raced in go carts recently and he won! He loves it, but he loved most seeing the faces of me and my other lad. That was more his drive to enjoy seeing us loose because he know we both hate it.
So as a coach what do you focus on? Winding your team up, getting the ‘up for it’. My son doesn’t need any motivation to want to win at football or anything for that matter. What he did need though, was to learn the game and get better technically. He done that because his team got hold of the ball and passed it. Back to front. Early on, that sometimes meant the made mistakes, even conceded a goal. Was he happy? No. Was I happy, no? Of course not. I didn’t ‘want’ them to lose. But do I change tactics now? Fold to parent pressure? Or do I get a reality check. I’m not manager of Luton, I’m a coach in mini soccer. How am I judged? Results? If Luton manager, yes! Therefore, change tactics! If I’m a youth coach with young players? Of course not! “Never mind” I’d say. Let’s get back on the ball! If we progress up the pitch by applying great technique. Great I’m delighted!
So you guys that put the win first, by using ‘tactics’ like smashing the ball up the pitch. Stopping the keeper from playing. By screaming at your player for trying to beat a player in a 1v1. You are holding yours and other children back. They cannot develop in that atmosphere!
For reference, I have travelled abroad with youth teams and played some of Europe’s top clubs like Bayern Munich. For us they are a clear method for training the brain to deal with winning and losing and we would go to these with a focus on winning. This method has long been used by the German clubs as a way to build team spirit and learn the winning way. That way it doesn’t affect the longer term week in week out strategy of development over winning. I would highly recommend grass roots adopt this ethos.
And seeing your dad being told off by the ref! This has been stated in the context of being a positive thing. Really? Is this real? Someone saying this is good for your child to witness?
This is really shocking. This starts from the regular highly screened images of the Premier League. We see week in week out players and management abusing the referee. Then you think it’s ok to do it in youth football? I watched the Wales France rugby match this morning. Let’s put it into perspective. It’s the WORLD CUP SEMI FINAL! Wales get a player wrongfully sent off. Massive decision that has put them out. What happened, not one player approached the ref. Yet last week my wife told me a story from my little ones game where the ref said the ball didn’t cross the line. But the other coach thought it did. She said it didn’t and in her opinion the ref got it correct, but even if he got it wrong, which of course he may have been, he is 14 years old. A young boy, doing his best. But their coach went nuts at him, then the parents started on him. At the end she heard them say, “I’m going for a word, he’s a disgrace”. With that they marched across the pitch and the lad retreated to the safety of his dad who luckily happened to be 6’5 and very burley. (she laughed), when their angry march slowly turned into a gentle stroll as they realised the boys dad would clearly knock them into next week. “Is there a problem”? He went “No, no. We just wanted to say thanks, we thought it was a goal but its only youth football eh”? My wife absolutely cracked up. The funniest bit being how these two big brave angry dads were willing to take on a 14 year old boy... together. But, weren’t willing to have it out with another adult. Sad Cowards! Plus, I would say an absolute embarrassment to their children!
If someone loses 15-0 then they are rubbish! Deal with it and get stronger or get a new manager! FA, please look at this statement, use it in presentations. This is what you’re up against. Would you really take some kind of enjoyment out of winning 15-0 in a football match? What do you get out of winning 15-0? Do you think you have learned anything? Do you think you have improved? Also, I would feel devastated for the emotions of the little kids on the wrong end of that. However it would indicate why you need to grade the teams to avoid that happening. I worked with an excellent coach who is now got a big job at another pro club. I remember him speaking to his team about how well they can keep the ball when they were 4-0 up. He never mentioned going for more goals.
Yes of course, if a team loses 15-0 then something is not write, I would think shortage of players, playing at the wrong level etc. But just to make my point again... what if? (This is really being devil’s advocate), the manager sat his team down during the week and said to his keeper. Do you know what, I want you to be able to play with your feet, understand the game, understand what would really help your defenders in terms of positioning and communication. So, I think the best thing for you would be to try it, play centre back for a few weeks! During those few weeks you lose every game and some mistakes are directly attributed to the goal keeper playing centre back. But the lad learned loads and now, when back in goal, he talks, he plays higher. He organising set pieces better and most of all, he wants the ball at his feet and can play with both feet. Who’s the better ‘manager’ now eh? Have you ever seen the Barcelona keeper Victor Valdes play football?
The second bit, get a new manager. That bit always makes me laugh. Parents judging youth managers like its Chelsea or England. This is a volunteer! Giving up his/her spare time to enable your kids to play football. Whilst some parents go missing when the nets need putting up. But they turn up when the whistle blows and start criticizing his/her tactics, who was selected etc etc. I’ve got one message for you. You do it then!
Thankfully, I got another reply that was really positive. It’s not all bad. Some clubs are really well run and a great sporting event takes place every week. But clearly the disease is still there. The worst example I recall was during my older sons cup final. Our full back made a couple of mistakes. This guy started on him. “He’s rubbish lads, get at him, he’s absolutely rubbish” Again, a grown man V 12 year old boy. Then later in the game he topped it with shouts which I can’t even retype. But the shouts were of a sectarian hatred nature.
I was told that he was reported and would be banned from football by the leagues representatives who heard it. He never was and by what I’ve been told he still turns up week in week abusing players. I feel sorry for his son and don’t doubt that one day another dad is going to bite and deal with it.
This is why I’m glad I’m out of Grass Roots football. Am I talking rubbish?
